Thursday, December 29, 2011

Top Ten Things I Learned from a Four Year Old This Week...

Mina, Asteroid Andy and ice cream!
Do you know that children have wisdom beyond their years, I do!

Mina brings it home for me every time we get together.


  1. This week I learned when somebody loves you they can kiss you as much as they need to.
  2. That when you miss Mom and Dad, you just do. And nothing makes it better... Not even grandma hugs...
  3. Toys are mostly made for playing with, sometimes you can only look at them ( like when you are eating dinner ). And sometimes they have to be picked up. But that God made them mostly for playing with.
  4. That a four year old can't get close enough, especially when you are napping with them. I have the bruises to prove it! Ha Ha!
  5. All songs are lull-a-byes. Really.
  6. That Monkey blankies , all special blankies for that matter, have a sweet spot. She showed me!
  7. Tubbies are better when they are shared. You can take turns washing the shampoo out of each others hair. As she stated, "How do I get by without her"?
  8. As long as there is Ice cream she will eat almost anything....
  9. That gummy bears can provide a fun bonding moment, that neither of us will ever forget!
  10. That explaining New Years day to a four year old is hard. It ended up being Earth's Happy Birthday Party day! Oh and that everybody is so happy they give each other kisses. Which brings me back to the beginning of my list.
I had to share my fun revelations with you all. Every time she comes to visit I learn something from her. Mostly I have learned to just let go. To pick my battles. And to enjoy every moment I can.
Most important to share every bit of love I can with her and her cousin Ellie.
I will not waste one moment I have on this earth to share with them. To learn from them. To love them.

Happy Earth's Birthday Party to you! Happy New Year! I hope it is a blessed one for you all...
Mina and Asteroid Andy


Sunday, December 18, 2011

My Christmas Card...For You...

Mary's Moment- by Laurie A. Blair 2011  
I remember the night I had my son...
I was fairly young, a little scared, and in labor for a long time. 24 hours to be exact.
Horrible back labor.

I knew what to expect for the most part. But it was still overwhelming... emotionally and physically.
But I had a hospital, doctors, nurses.
I was in a warm hospital room with lights and a bathroom and it was really clean!

I often think what it must have been like for Mary as she labored to birth our savior.
Cold and dark, a dirty stable, probably a little hay to lay on maybe a blanket or cloth covering it and Joseph. If she was lucky maybe a midwife. I am sure it was not painless. God wanted Jesus to be born into the human world so he could understand it. He would have wanted him to experience birth as well as death, in all the ways we do.

I remember feeling the urge to push, and smiling because it felt so good, I knew I was almost done at that point. I was going to meet this child that I felt I had known forever. Back then Ultrasounds did not tell the sex of the child. But I just knew it was a boy! I pushed as they ran me down the hallway to the delivery room, even though they told me not to... I couldn't help it. I had to!

Can you picture Mary, pushing, pushing! knowing this child, her child, God's son, would be the Savior of man, the world! So much pressure and pain. And then suddenly the head frees itself from her body and the rest of the child follows sliding into Joseph's hands. He places the baby on her chest on a swaddling cloth, Mary rubs the baby's back instinctively until he begins to cry, shaking, he is cold. Joseph helps her swaddle the babe, and she pulls him close...

When James finally broke free of my body and they placed him on my chest. I felt such JOY! I could not feel any pain. I know there was pain, but I suddenly have no recollection of it. All I can see is this beautiful babe, the fingers and toes, his little body shaking and crying that little vibrating cry that newborns have. The nurses take him and rub him down, and wrap him. They place him back in my arms and dim the lights. Andy stands next to me in tears. We are both crying. The love we feel is overwhelming....And looking up at us with beautiful blue, blue eyes, our son. So innocent and trusting, and beautiful.

I am sure Mary felt these things too as her beautiful baby looked up at her and Joseph. The love that must have radiated from that small family...and then it happened, a heavenly chorus! can you imagine? In that crowded little town! People had to stop in shock and awe! The bible says the GLORY shone round him, I imagine it not only as a light but a sound, and a feeling! POWERFUL! Like being in a musical tornado! But Mary I imagine like me was looking into her sons beautiful blue, blue eyes. But his eyes, reassuring, all knowing, peaceful, sure...So innocent and trusting. Full of love...

Oh what a wonderful thing! A SAVIOR, a COUNSELOR, a KING of KINGS born for all of us.

As we prepare to celebrate his birth, lets remember all the ways our Savior experienced our world so he could truly understand us, and unselfishly accepted a very human, painful death to relieve us of our sins and to give us eternal life.

I will never forget a single moment of any of my children's births.

I am sure Mary remembered every moment of her son's birth as she stood before the cross.

Happy Birthday dear Savior... Thank you.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Blest be The Tie that Binds....

Beautiful Ribbon!

This is going to be hard for me to write. I am crying already...
This Blog has been in my head for months. Oh, who am I kidding, years...

You see, like these ribbons, my family is everywhere.
Some of us meet in places quite a bit, others we only meet occasionally, and some, well we're lucky if we can get together once or twice in a 20 year span...

But if I could, I would squeeze them all in my tiny apartment for hours and fill myself up with LOVE and JOY.
Oh the remembered days of gathering at both my grandparents with family at Christmas!
How I miss those days!!

Being woken up by our own children at 5 am in the morning, pretending we did not hear them when they really got up at 3 am. Listening to them wrangle about who would come and wake us and what time did they think we wouldn't say "go back to sleep!". They too are now spread out and far enough away that it can be a chore for them to come on Christmas. And I want them to have the opportunity to form their own Christmas traditions.

But, at this time of year more than any other, I miss my sisters and brothers.
I miss the ability we have to sit in a room and just get each other. maybe not always agree with each other, but certainly accept and love one another. When we were younger, and times were hard, we used to tell each other that when it came down to it, we were the best friends we would ever have. Each other!

I have never laughed so hard, never cried so profusely, never played so freely, or danced and sang so joyfully as I ever have with them.

But more than that, I respect them, I like them! I like what makes them each who they are. All their quirks
( and believe me I have more than a few of my own ) , only serve to endear them to me. Watching their family's as they have grown and changed and wishing I could be closer to share in each special moment.

I still remember getting up with them early on Christmas morning and looking for reindeer tracks on the porch roof. Opening our presents and being so happy at the coming day full of Family and visiting. You would think it was the presents. But, no, not so much for me. It was the people...

Now years later, as Christmas draws closer, that" tie that binds" tugs at my heart more and more. I can feel them, as bright and wonderful as those colorful ribbons, familiar and comforting. So close, but so far. Time, like the silky ribbons slipping through my fingers

I wish I had paid better attention, appreciated that time and the people more.
Because I see that it is getting harder and harder, with life and distance, to align the ribbons of our life and to come together.

But in my heart, we are all together, all our family, here, squished into my tiny apartment. There is LAUGHTER and SONG, TEARS of JOY and SHARING. Because distance and life can never take away the tie that binds, LOVE!

I love you, Bonnie, Naomi, David, Michael and Chris. Merry Christmas.
Laurie, David, Bonnie, Michael, Naomi, and Chris


Monday, December 5, 2011

ROY G BIV!

Beautiful Rainbow!

I am a foolish woman...
At least that is what some people have called me.
A daydreamer, my head in the clouds...
Most of my life this name has been attached to me in an unflattering way.

They think I am not realistic.

I see reality every day, it strikes me in the face every morning when I wake up.
I see people struggling, hurting, hurting each other...

I watch the news.
I have troubles. Hurts, pain and sorrow...

But somewhere along the way, as a child,  I found a way to see hope!
Believe in love and forgiveness. To believe in the seemingly unbelievable. The goodness of mankind. Faith in an unseen God.

My favorite story in the Bible is Noah and the Ark.
Noah had faith, he saw something other people just couldn't see. They thought he was foolish. A daydreamer, totally unrealistic. I mean really, an Ark built in the middle of nowhere, no rain in sight!
But he saw the world in a different way. And God brought him into that world because he had Faith. Because he believed in what some said was unbelievable. Unrealistic!

In the past I let that reference to me as a daydreamer scar me.
Now, my scars are a badge of honor.

Yes, I have HOPE and FAITH, I see JOY and LOVE and FORGIVENESS all around . I see the goodness of man . I look at sunsets, and smiling children. I giggle and laugh and seek to help others find the same HOPE I find everyday.

Why do we feel the need to make people look at all the ugliness in the world? Why do we feel that if they are not wallowing in it that they don't get it? That they are foolish? Daydreamers....

I think a God that made a promise in a RAINBOW, and threw it across the heaven's for everyone to see, I think he wants daydreamers, believer's, hopeful people. People who see the colors of life and beauty that surrounds them as well as everything else.

Today, it rained all day, and I listened to everyone complain about the rain. The news, my husband, people at the store.

Me? I was the foolish woman at the window looking for the little bit of sun and a RAINBOW.

They are there. Keep looking....


Monday, November 28, 2011

PCOS, for All Women and the Men that Love Them!

We will share!
Okay ladies! No more hiding in the shadows... This is a touchy subject. Embarrassing and messy. But we must speak out So I will begin.

I had PCOS , In other words Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. It gives you heavy and painful periods, it can keep you from having children, it can cause you to get Cancer. It can pretty much destroy your life. If you let it...

I, like the woman in the bible who couldn't stop bleeding, couldn't stop bleeding. It was awful and embarrassing to say the very least. The honest truth, messy and life ruining. And by the time I wouldn't except one more  "let's wait and see answer from my doctors", I almost died from the hidden cancer in my uterus all due to PCOS.

Oh and poor care.

And I say this about good doctors and bad. I had many of both. Too many times they wanted to take a wait and see attitude. Even though my life was in ruin, and I am truly embarrassed to say, I let them do it. I let them shame me into waiting, oh, just lose weight. I did. It did not work. Take these pills, get your diabetes under control. Try excercize. Yeah that didn't work either... I let them put me on a back burner and wasted so many years of my life because of it.

I spent 27 years dealing with pain, heavy bleeding and clots, Hemeraging. Sometimes for 3 weeks of the month, having to carry extra clothes, usually three sets, and cleaning supplies with me every where. Standing behind the counter at work helping a customer while bleeding all over the floor because I stood up. Too many surgery's to mention. D&C's, Ablations. Nothing worked. And when I asked for a hysterectomy again and again I was rejected and told to try something else for a while.

Finally, I had enough. It was my life that was being put on hold. Me who couldn't attend things because I would bleed all over. Me who suffered some of the most embarrassing situations. Bleeding all over myself in the grocery store, a party, while working, in my car. While on a field trip with my daughters class, my kids graduations... And I am talking about a lot of blood. it soaked through my pants in minutes, my whole pants, top to bottom, 5 times or more a day! And when I went to the doctor crying they told me. I could deal with it. I almost slugged that doctor! And I should have bought stock in sanitary napkins and tampons. Thousands of my dollars went into them!

So enough was enough, I got another new doctor and said. Here's what I want, "I want my life back"!  And he said okay, he listened to what I had to say and when I was done, he said, "I think you are right", "it is past time".

Hooray! but then as I said, they did the surgery and the biopsy revealed what all their tests had not. A large cancer on the back of my uterus, totally covered by tons of tissue and blood. I was terrified, I feared I had let them talk me into loosing my life.

But two wonderful women doctors and Radiation seems to have taken care of it. But I have to wait five years to be totally sure.

But in the meantime, I am determined to share!

With my daughters, with my family and friends, we all talk about breast cancer, Now it's time we shared about this. Especially with the men in our lives. Andy was my savior and lifeline.

I had PCOS, My daughters have it, I know I have other family members who have it as well. Because it is hereditary. And we need to talk about it, be aware, and never, I mean NEVER, let a doctor shame you into not doing what is right for you.

As I was ringing the bell for the Salvation Army last week and the week before, I just couldn't help thinking how enjoyable my life is now! How much I appreciate this freedom!  And of how much of my life had been lost to PCOS.

What a waste!

I will never be the woman in the bible again, waiting inside, in darkness and shame.
She too had her enough is enough moment and...When she heard the Lord was coming, she had waited long enough! Nothing was going to stop her! And she came outside, I am sure still bleeding, but determined, and reached out and touched the Lord's robe and changed her life. Her faith and strength had made her whole.

Don't hide in the shadows, don't wait! If there is a problem tell your doctor, and tell them to to fix it, now, not later!

And share, PLEASE share with your daughters, family and friends. Lets get rid of this stupid stigma!

I had PCOS!
Free, how I feel every day now!

Friday, November 25, 2011

My Grandmother's Hands

They speak for themselves...
I remember one day my mom and her sisters sitting around squeezing the skin on their knuckles to see how quickly their skin smoothed back into place. I guess the faster it smoothed out the younger your skin was. I remember wishing my hands looked like my grandma's. Really!

Now, you have to understand, I have a fascination with hands.

All artists do, because for one thing they are very hard to learn to draw correctly, and secondly they are beautiful to draw.

But, I also like the things they say to you.
You can see comfort when they rest lovingly on someone else's hands or shoulders. Strength when they are picking something up, excitement they are waving in the air. Skill while they are whipping up dinner and cleaning the house. I think you get the idea.

My thing with hands goes beyond the normal, you see I am what the nurses like to call a bad stick...
They can never find a vein for my IV's. They hurt me a lot. If you don't believe me ask my husband. He's been there a lot when this happens. The conversation goes something like this..."I am a bad stick" I say. Nurse "Oh, I have been doing this for years, I never have a problem." 30 minutes later I am in tears my hand looks like Hamburger and the nurse says she is "sorry..."  and to tell my next nurse what a bad stick I am. Yeah, I always do, and most always it ends like this.
So maybe you can understand why I am so sensitive about my hands now, and why I am so aware of them.

Being that way also makes me appreciate them so much! I have been able to crochet, knit, draw, paint, and create through some of the awfullest situations with these hands. They allow me to keep my sanity. My mom was astounded as I knit my way through Seed Radiation.

I love my hands!

And now I am beginning to see them as I once wished they would be. I see my grandma's hands on me. Hard work and years of caring for others, I see it there on my hands. Love and comfort, strength and protection, all there...How wonderful. When I pray, when I hold my granddaughter's hands to guide them across the parking lot, when I am reading them a story and pointing to the pictures, there they are again...My grandmother's hands.

I am proud of them, proud to wear them, these hands. They are from generations of hard working, loving women and I share this DNA in my hands. It ties me to these wonderful women.

And I am so grateful to have my grandmother's hands...


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

We the People are Thankful! Just try and Stop us!

Power!
We the people, are Powerful!

Really we are!

Because we are thankful. Because we have gratitude! The faith of standing together in THANKFULNESS!

There is an awesome Power in doing that.

Today as we all sit down and convey our thankfulness to each other a powerful feeling covers this Earth!
In LOVE and JOY and FORGIVENESS, by being thankful for all the we have, whatever we have! We can change brokenness, poverty, addiction, and war.

We can change the world!
And all it takes is saying I am Thankful. What can I do to give that feeling to another?

This holiday started as a way to be thankful for the harvest, the goodness of the Earth. The wonderful BOUNTY God provides us.

We can donate food and money to provide food for those in need, and that is really great to do!

We need  to do more than that though...
Pray for our leaders, all of them! Pray them a heart full of gratitude and thankfulness.
It is amazing how when you're  full of these feelings you can't stop giving! And I imagine it would make a spirit of cooperation like we have never seen before... What? Put the needs of the people above the need to win the next election? I believe  prayer and thankfulness would make that happen.

Like the Grinch! It is overwhelming! Pray for them a heart that big, and more. Pray for goodness and kindness to overtake greed and corruption... even for one day, think of that day! Pray for Peace and Love that would wash over us all like a flood!

You all have the power to make that difference. You do!
Stop telling yourself, "oh, I am just one against so much..." Be the little stones on the beach, the more you build up the bigger the breakwall grows! And the tide is lessened, held back, weakened! It may come at you all like a powerful storm and tear you away. But don't give up! Come back and rebuild! Have faith! Hold onto one another, come back together and be thankful and strong!
I used to tell my children they were the stones I was placing in front of the waves. The waves being all the bad things in the world. Every stone lessens the waves power. And everyone that stands there together strengthens the others.

It is amazing how powerful you can be!

Just start with being Thankful... Seeing what purpose and strength comes from just doing that. When you think of all the people feeling Thankful today you can't help it! You will feel the power, just stand and allow yourself to feel the vibrations of Thankfulness flowing over the Earth.

The rest will follow.

Believe me...

We the people are THANKFUL!
Just try and stop me!
US!

Happy Thanksgiving!


Monday, November 21, 2011

Women of my Heart! Happy Birthday Mom...

Julie Walters as the wonderful Molly Weasley!
Molly Weasley, how do I love thee, Let me count the ways...


  1. For your loving and firm representation of real moms.
  2. For your determination in letting your children know how much you loved them.
  3. This includes the children who were not of your womb, but, never the less your children.
  4. For showing the world all the above, but that when push comes to shove and your children's lives are in danger and you can do something about it! Watch out world, you have just poked a Tiger!!!


I love the Harry Potter books, deeply. Reading them I most identified with Molly Weasley, I was not brave and strong like Hermione, or carefree like Luna, or Ginny surely loved, strong in that conviction.

I was like Molly. Chubbie, Mom, loving and loved. Making home the best sanctuary I could. Wanting to help sooo much, helping where I could, stepping back when I knew they needed to do something on their own. Even when it killed me... Giving all I could to my family. And when nobody suspected, stronger than even I ever knew. When it came to my family...well, watch out! When I was reading the final Harry Potter book and I got to the part about Molly battling Bellatrix, Who had just attempted to kill Molly's daughter Ginny. All the people there, in the Great Hall, were shocked by Molly running into the fray, the fury of Molly's spells and their strength! The battle between this mom and crazy witch was so powerful the floor heated up and cracked from the power of their spells.
None of the men fighting had caused this to happen. This was a powerful woman!
The best compliment I got from my grown up children, and they all said it, Was that when they were reading that part of the book, they thought of me. That, that, would have been me... Standing there between death, and my children fighting valiantly! I can't help but cry even now...It means that much to me.

There are so many other wonderful women of my heart, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Who shared her family Journey through the "Little House" books, not the TV show! And her daughter Rose Wilder Lane, who was a wonderful writer, and many other things as well. Jo from "Little Women" and Marme... Jane from "Jane Eyre". The brave, long suffering, Elinor from "Sense and Sensibility".

These women who have my heart, some are fictional, some real. They have taken me through my life and shown me what real strength is, given me purpose, and shown me defining myself and defending my all, whatever that may be, is okay. Even if others don't agree with me.

So, if you haven't figured this out already, this for my mom...
Who taught me to read, Sing, and dance. Who when I had my Gallbladder and Appendix out at 19, was there crying and yelling at the attendant for uncaringly hurting me when tranfering me to my bed. For driving me to so many Radiation treatments for 3 months and sitting beside me while I cried. For always encouraging me, teaching me to knit and crochet, to sew and draw. And for always loving me the best she could in a not so easy world.
For being my Molly Weasley... I love you mom.

Happy Birthday! A little early it's tomorrow..

A woman of my heart,
Vida Ann Schwalm ~ Johnston
Born November 22, 1942
My mom, sister Bonnie, brother David, and sister Naomi at my Aunt Bev's wedding around 1972?

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Snowflakes!

Snowflakes!
I must confess...I am so excited! It is my favorite time of year!

I love making paper snowflakes! Do you?

I  have loved it since I was a little kid, and I can't help it I still do!

You can tell which apartment is mine in the winter because I have the windows absolutely covered with them. I pick a day before Thanksgiving and cut them out for hours...Yippee! It is a blast! Then I cover my windows in them. It's absolutely beautiful!

I could pick a day when my husband isn't home, but I have to tell you, I love making him crazy with all the little paper bits. He is extremely obsessive compulsive and it drives him crazy all those little white bits on the floor. Hee hee... It's my way of getting him involved in the fun and used to the idea that this is a messy season, It reminds him that paper bits on the floor isn't the end of the world. So I will be doing it on Sunday afternoon! Poor guy....

My usual cue as to when to begin this tradition is after our first snowfall, that happened on Thursday night here. We were in Brockport, NY at Wendy's. Yum, their dollar menu is great! They have chili! Anyway, we had just sat down and all of the sudden people were Ooooing and Ahhhing all around us, it had started snowing! People even walked up to the window and were looking out excitedly. You would have thought there might have been a grumble or two, but nope. Just happiness and excitement!

I like living here for that reason. people get excited about the snow, and yeah there is some grumbling when it gets bad. But for the most part I see a lot of enjoyment. That's part of the Joy of living near the lakes.

So now it is time for paper snowflakes! Time to be creative and cut, and fold, cut and fold, and create paper masterpieces.... Hang them in your windows, I guarantee people will get excited! So will you. And it will be like experiencing that first beautiful snowfall again, and again!

Have fun! I know I will!

Snip snip!
Oh!


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

That Happy Moment!


Just pure JOY!
Tonight I stopped and saw my Amigurumi girls on the way to work, and gave them all hugs!
We, Andy and I,  have had so many things going on  I have been unable to go to our Tuesday night meetings for many months... And I have missed them. I was so excited to go and see them. I did not care that I was in my work clothes or frumpy looking, I just could not wait to see them. We hugged, we laughed, we cried. And the moment was pure JOY!

We often don't appreciate these moments as much as we should. But things like the picture of my Mina above remind me to stop and be grateful for JOY!

Like that song that came on the radio, just when you needed to hear it. Or the friend who talked with you during the week, hugged you and encouraged you. And then just to top you off, sent you the most thoughtful card. JOY!

Sometimes it is strange moments that give you such abandoned JOY. Andy and I walking home from the store on a really hot summer day and we are grumpy and tired, suddenly the clouds open up and it begins to pour! What else could we do? We ran, half way home we were giggling and laughing so hard! By the time we got home we were soaked but the day had changed, JOY had come in and the rest of the day was just glorious!

Waiting for your children to arrive, or visa versa, your parents, on a holiday or any day. knowing you will get to have fun with them and share with them. Or every time your grandchild shouts, Grandma! Wow! Nothing better. This weekend for the first time our Ellie, who has been saying granpa for awhile ( don't ask), called me Gnma ma. My heart just sang!

In the Bible it talks of coming to Jesus as a child, I think on this earth we must meet JOY the same way... Makes sense as I truly believe  all  JOY comes from GOD.

To truly allow it to be a part of our lives we have to. We can't be afraid to share it, to do silly things when experiencing it,  to let go and be just in that moment, that glorious happy moment!

Today I experienced a JOY moment and it was wonderful!

I hope you find time in your busy week to have that happy moment of JOY!

 

Tick Tock,

Wall Clock

Oh the joy of a wall clock!

I love mine!

I got it for ten dollars at our church Rummage sale. It looks a lot like the one above, only lighter wood and not quite as fancy. Much simpler and homey. It keep great time because Andy keeps it wound for me. I never had to ask. He just started doing it. I think he likes the job. I have added a little micey to mine, he runs across the top (not really, only in my imagination). A lady who was my Sunday school teacher always had one on her clock. and I liked the idea so I added one to mine.

It counts the hour and tones on the half hour. I love it at night when I wake up to hear it strike the hour, it's somehow comforting. The gentle tick tock is my companion on days when I am at home.

And strangely we don't seem to hear it when we are talking or watching TV, Which is funny as it lives on the wall right next to it.

There have been more than a few times Andy and I have been talking in bed, after a day where trouble has dogged us, the clock will sound as if to say, time is going to keep going on. We both realize in the big scheme of things it wasn't something that couldn't be overcome. We were already in a new hour, minute, second.

Tick tock, tick tock, life seconds numbering...

I sing "My Grandfather's Clock to my grandchildren every night at bedtime when they are at my house. It's Mina's favorite! She loves the "Tick Tock"  refrain. I remember my mom teaching it to me and my sisters. It is a memory I cherish. I think part of the reason I have always wanted a clock was because of that song.

I love how I can tell Mina we will go to the playground when the clock strikes ten. I love listening as she counts as it strikes the hour and she comes to tell me, "grandma it is time to go to the playground and swing"! She gets it!

All the other clocks around me make me feel like I need to speed up! But not the wall clock. It seems to say with it's gentle tick tock, slow down, enjoy the moment, you've got plenty of time...

Mostly though, I love how it makes me feel the quiet, especially at night. It reminds me of a simpler time. When people had time to be together, sit around and talk, and knit and play cards. Why, just enjoy each other, their families, and their friends.

I love my clock! It is my treasure and pride!

I am grateful, tick tock, of it's quiet sweet song, tick tock, that reminds me each day is only so long, tick tock.

To waste not a minute, tick tock. For time will just keep going on... dong, dong, dong, dong, dong... A new day begins!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The True Gift.

I shop really early every week. Between 4 and 5 am. I have made friends with the cashiers who now know me by heart being that there are so few customers at that hour. They think I am crazy for walking, but they love my idea for toting my groceries home in a umbroller stroller. It was a dollar at a garage sale. What can I say? It holds a lot and is easy to push. But, I digress...

Yesterday as I was being rung out, I mentioned that I was so happy that Christmas was on a Sunday this year and that I would be ringing in a special bell choir. I invited the cashier, and her family to come.
"We won't be celebrating Christmas this year..." she said. "We can't afford it". Looking very sad.
I have heard this from several people this year... My heart breaks every time.
Because, well... It doesn't have to be, well, sad...

And I proceeded to tell her what I am about to tell you.

Without being preachy. Being wholly honest!

We have had many wonderful Christmases, not because we had money and lots of presents, because we didn't. My kids did not get video game systems, tons of fashionable clothes, etc. If it was a good year, they got one toy, usually something I made. homemade cabbage patch dolls, velvet dinosaurs, stuffed mice, puppets. Well you get the idea, And an outfit that I made also. Jammies and robes made of old blankets and comforters I found at the VOA. Dresses and pants to wear on Christmas day made from curtain panels also found at the VOA.

I made a lot of stuff!

Sometimes, if one of the kids wanted something very bad. I would save bottles and pennies I found on the ground and voila by Christmas I usually had enough to get the special dinosaur book James wanted.

If it was a bad year, well, I would try and fill their stockings. Sometimes, we couldn't even do that. But don't get the wrong idea.

We ALWAYS celebrated Christmas...

Andy and I tried to always find the JOY in Christmas, no matter what. Going to church to celebrate each Advent Sunday, making Christmas cookies to bring to our neighbors, who were elderly and had no children. Attending free Christmas concerts everywhere! The malls , the schools. Helping pass out Christmas baskets.  Going downtown to see the lights, driving around to see all the houses in our neighborhood decorated for Christmas. The first year Sara was sick we made bread dough ornaments for everyone. It wasn't much, but it was fun and it made us feel good!

Making the best Christmas day meals we could, telling each other how much we loved one another. This was the the order of most Christmas days. Notes of appreciation and love. I treasure these. They are worth more than Gold to me....

I am SAD that so many people are suffering! When there should be no need for that. Really. I am sorry. There just shouldn't be.

But, don't let this hardship take away your Christmas! Because the true gift of Christmas, isn't things... It's Love and thoughtfulness, Joy and renewal and most of all sharing and caring. It really is the thought that counts!

So even if you can't afford presents, put your tree up. Share that time with your family or the one you love. Celebrate every part of Christmas you can. Find new ways to do it!

I hugged my friend, told her I would pray for her and that I hoped she an her family could find a way through this sad time to celebrate Christmas. And I invited her to come again to our Christmas eve and Christmas morning services.

Yes, this year, Christmas is on a Sunday.

I am excited!

I will get up get ready for church. Pray and play my bells to honor my  Lord and share that with everybody in my congregation. Celebrate the JOY of my savior's birth, celebrate music and beauty and LOVE! Go home and love my husband, my kids and grandkids and my whole family. Whether they are there with me or not. Whether I have presents or not. And be filled up with happiness!

Because, I have found the true gift of Christmas

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Splish Splash I was Taking a Bath!!!

Tweety!
Ahhhh, nothing takes away the aches of a long day like a bath...

With bubble bath and salts!

and a loofah!

Extra warm, hold the clock....

It can be really fun with the grandkids, splashing and hugging, shampooing each others hair and making shampoo coiffures! playing with toys and making barbies swim. toes and fingers turned into prunes.

Ahhh baths....Lovely

A lot of my first memories are of baths with my sisters, warm washcloths, and mom checking behind our ears to see if we got all the dirt. "there is so much dirt back there you could grow a potato!" she would say. For years I checked afraid one would actually grow there! Ha ha! Having my mom shampoo my hair. She scrubbed it so good!

My daughters still love a good tub, they will read in there for hours if they can. They have even grown on my husband. I honestly am not sure about James, but he used to like them a lot.

Now me...,

I like the sound the water makes, the way the tub sounds when you lay your head back on it and hum or sigh.  I like the feel of the soap in my hands, and the way my Ivory floats! The swish of the water.... The delicious scented steam rising to meet my nose.

I'll be honest there used to be a lot more room in my tub, and it was easier getting in and out than it is now a days. But I won't give my baths up if I don't have to. I am already planning ahead, looking at those walk in tubs. I know it will be different. But I will take that as compared to the option of no baths ever again.

Because really isn't taking a bath a little bit like visiting the womb again. I think that is why it feels so comforting and wonderful and renewing. I am pretty sure it is as close as we get to going back to the beginning on this earth. Showers are okay. A quick wet reminder, but a bath is a full blown experience. warmth, scents, cleansing, softening and rejuvenating!

Getting out and wrapping yourself in a warm towel and going to bed. I sleep like a baby.

Taking my grandchildren out wrapping them in a large warm towel and turning them into chubby little slugs and holding their sweet smelling bodies close and just cuddling. Putting them in their jammies, playing with their damp curls and tucking them in bed. Looking forward to tomorrow when they will inquire of me around 7pm "bath?"

"Oh Yes!" I reply " Let's go get the toys!"

I hope I never stop enjoying a bath...Living the joy of those sensations. Oh it's calling me now. It's been a long hard day. But I know I will feel much better soon.

Can you hear it? Bubble, bubble...Splish splash.

Go ahead! You know you wanna!
Tubbie time! Naomi, Bonnie and ME!


Sunday, November 6, 2011

Thank you...

Singing is JOY!


As I start preparing for Thanksgiving, and the holidays to come, I am finding myself thinking of someone who I am thankful for. Someone I wish I had found the time to thank while he was still here among us.

Mr. William Mchugh.

I first met met Mr. Mchugh when I was in All County Chorus at Gates Chili Middle School. I was in 8th grade and he introduced himself to us because we would have the chance to continue on with him at the High School when we went into 9th grade.

He told us about the choir he had there. 200 kids! Awesome! Explained, he expected the best from everyone and he meant it! And then shook all our hands. Talked to each of us, and asked about our expectations for our future with the choir. Unbelievable!

It was the first thing I signed up for, and all I looked forward to all summer long....

The first day as we all took our seats. He asked for quiet, told us he expected us to be on time ready to go, to be clean and neat, No gum, No talking,  he wanted our total attention. For concert and trips girls were expected to purchase a white blouse, and navy skirt. Boys navy pants and a white shirt. He gave us a list of songs we would be working on. We were all called forward given a time for our VOICE LESSONS with him! Wow! Really? How cool. And sizes were taken and a number was assigned for a choir jacket for us each to use.

All this sounds boring, and tedious, but none of us had ever experienced a choir like this. Honestly!

And it gives you no idea as to the man who led it.

Mr. McHugh...
He was always smiling, and when he directed, you would swear he was transformed, the look on his face was like he was glimpsing heaven...How do I explain this? He made you feel special. Important to him, important to the choir. If he yelled at you, he made sure you understood, it was because you were letting yourself down and the choir, and he wasn't going to let you short change yourself  or the choir like that. He knew you were capable of more!

Now you have to understand. He did not have to yell often. Nobody wanted to let him down. We loved him!

At voice lessons he was so helpful and encouraging! He challenged you, vocally and musically, and humanly.
 I often left his voice lessons feeling like I was walking on air, unafraid to do anything! I was very, very shy. He showed me how to overcome that. Told me he believed in me. And made me believe it! And when the first voice recital was scheduled,
I signed up.
For the first time in my life I was not afraid to sing in front of people. And that was due in great part to Mr.McHugh.
When you sang he waited off stage. More excited than you. He was your biggest cheerleader. He would be directing you and waving his hands in glory as you reached the heights in your song, and you couldn't help but smile when you would see him out of the corner of our eye. When you were done he was waiting to hug you and tell you how well you did! How proud of you he was! Now he was like this with all of us! And when I say 200 kids I am not kidding! Not all of them signed up for everything but a lot of them did.

He must have gone home exhausted!

The choir sang at nursing homes, holiday concerts all over Rochester. All State and other competitions. We were always dressed impeccably in our uniforms we wanted him to be proud of us! And we gave 110% ! Because of him!

He knew all our names, remembered special things about us all. If he saw you in the hallway, unlike other teachers, he would stop ask how you were, tell you he couldn't wait to see you in choir that day and share something about the new music we were working on as it pertained to your section in the choir. For me at the time that was first Soprano. No one had ever treated me like this. It really was amazing!

I often wondered if he was the same way at home. How he had anything left to give at home? He gave so much to us. But I soon knew he was just as good and wonderful at home. Because, my uncle married one of his daughters and she was just as wonderful as him. Always smiling and laughing, full of JOY.

My husband knows one of his sons from work and he too is the same.

It takes someone very special to pass on such wonderful gifts. And he gave them freely and joyfully. Shared, cared and encouraged everyone and made you feel so important.

When I was in 10th grade we moved to Hilton. My one and only regret was having to leave him and the choir...

Sadly, Hilton's choir at the time had 9 people in it, including me. At first it was a shock! But my first day I could hear Mr McHugh in my head telling me how important each and everyone of us was. How in giving our all we made the choir special and suddenly it felt like a choir of 1000.

He taught me lessons I will never forget...

He gave me gifts I can never repay...

He was a teacher  like no other I have ever met, and was a man among men.

I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to study under him, and to have had the pleasure of knowing him as a person.

Thank you, Mr McHugh.

Now I encourage all of you, not to wait. Did someone like this man ever change your life? Tell them now! Don't wait! You will regret it if you do. Share now, believe me you will be so much happier if you do.
Thankfulness!


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

MONKEYS! @*!!%$

Monkey

Okay, I'll admit it. I have sworn once or twice in my lifetime. Sometimes it is just hard not to.

But when our kids were growing up and the first one swore I was horrified! That would no longer happen!

It made me re think some friendships, and Andy and I went on a no swearing policy. And that worked for a while.
Eventually, we knew it was coming, the question came..."Mom" "why can't I swear?" "I mean sometimes you just get angry and well, you gotta express it somehow".

Strangely, that very week I had seen an interview with Will Smith, and another one with Mr. Rodgers. And both of them were talking about what made them not swear. They had very similar answers and it was striking, it really made me think!

They both stated that someone in their life had challenged them. Had told them they were too smart to use such words. That they could find better words to express their anger and work through a situation. Wish I had thought of that...

 What a good way to express to someone, that an angry verbal tirade does not have to have profanity in it. That a better way of expressing your anger, frustration, pain, what have you, is available. And it just takes using your brain.

You should have heard the moans the first time I explained this to my kids. My son said it best. "I hate that you think I am that smart"!
"Does that mean you get it?" I queried. "Yes"! they moaned back.

Now I am not saying they never swear. I know they do. But I like that they really regret it afterward and that they think about it and want to do better. And I know they don't do it in front of other peoples children.

I hear so many young people swearing these days, almost every other word out of their mouths is profanity. I am that annoying  grandma at Mc Donald's and other places who ask them to refrain when my grandchildren are there, or when children and families are around.
And yup! I say it! "You are too smart not to find a better way to express yourselves!"

My kids? Some of their solutions...Why sometimes it can be so funny. And it really can turn things around.

My Chandra makes me laugh every time!  I hear my daughter up in her bedroom... *Crash!* "MONKEYS!"
"Monkeys!" fly around her house a lot some days. She'll tell me, "What?" "It makes me laugh instead of getting angry"! I love it!

My son-in-law Erik does it very jauntily, Medieval style. And he and Sara have taught Mina very well she says "oh dear!"
 James, our son, when he is around me and his dad and others he restrains himself well, He can growl, and grunt with the best of them. Maybe, Ooo Ooo  he should say "GORILLAS!" LOL!

Anyway, We all need to challenge ourselves. All of us need to remember that we are intelligent beings who can use our brains and our voice to express our feelings in a civil manner. In a way that doesn't offend others. Once we can control ourselves we need to share with others.

A simple step back to a polite society? I sure hope so...

Monkeys! What? I just saw some in the zoo!
 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

A little bit of Son light...

What a great picture!


Wow ! What an awesome picture! If only all our experiences with church were like this... Well, if they were, the church, would be packed like a rock concert! And can you imagine the gloriousness of the Lord moving amoung us

Open to the Son's light, closed against the evils of the world. Sharing and caring. A Heavenly experience!

Oh I wish, pray, hope that it can be more like this, and believe with all my heart it is possible.

But to make that so, we have to stop judging, you know "He who without any SIN throw the first stone". Not easy I know, but I think I will let God do the judging and just love my fellow man. It really makes it a lot easier to follow God's word.

Let's face it we bring gossip, judgement and condemnation with us to church. We do! I admit to it!
 I ask God to work with me everyday. Because, WE ALL have fallen short of the glory of God! And I know it. Oh, I have said something more than once in my lifetime that I wish I had been able to take back. Because I know it aided in bringing down someone...Oh it raised me up in the eyes of the person I was speaking to. But lowered me in the eyes of my savior... I saw myself adding stripes to my saviors back. Truthfully. I am ashamed. And he forgives me when I ask him. But if I continue to do so...

I know we don't mean to do these things. We have to find a way to be together, building each other up, bringing them into the fold without smothering them with our rules and regulations. Our version of what it means to be faithful. We think we are well meaning, but are we? Have we let go and let God? Are we loving our neighbor as ourselves? I don't think you can sit in judgement and do that. I know for me, it keeps me from my Lord.

I know so many faithful people who have been hurt by people in their church. Who can't find love, community or fellowship in the walls of the building their faith community built to honor GOD! That is so sad... And beyond that, I am pretty sure it is not what God would want us to do.

I have spoken with so many people lately about why a lot of local churches congregations are dying. I think we better face facts, stop blaming the world and look internally. Yeah, a lot more people have to work Sundays, offer a later service. Kids have a lot going on sports and stuff. Yeah, but offer something so interesting and convicted that they will beg their parents to come! We've got to reach out, and keep reaching! We can't offer the same old, same old. And we can't sit in judgement! "Oh those Smith's they never come to church anymore". " I see them every Sunday just hanging out." "They should be in church!"
We just made a divide. Us vs. Them. Do you think that is what God wants? I don't think so.

How about instead of waiting for them to come to church thoroughally chastised, so we can forgive them. And only if they prove themselves to us by never making another mistake.

Really?
And believe me I have seen people do this.

What if instead of all that, we reached out like Jesus. "Boy do we miss you!" "Is everything okay?" "Wow, the kids have really grown". " There are some new great programs they might enjoy". "Call us if you are interested , or would like more info". Friendly, non judgmental, welcoming. Reaching out. Not begging, genuine caring! No more if they were really Christian they would just come to church. Jesus went to the people. He could have just waited for them to come to him. You know they would have! But part of what he taught us was to go out into the world and meet people, reach people where they are!

What if we let in a little bit of Son light, in our churches, in our hearts and souls. Cleaned out the cobwebs. See where the bridges are damaged and the hedges overgrown... No more judgement, or gossip, or badmouthing. Pure light and Love and Forgiveness.

Wow!

I want to see the Sunday morning after that.

I think I need to go pray, speak the truth to my savior, ask for a glowing church on a hill that welcomes all who seek him! And ask for a little bit of Son light so I can step out into the world and do my part to help make it be.





Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Lost my Marbles? Nope, I know exactly where they are!! 11 simple JOYS!

Pretty Marbles!
You ever notice how it is the silly simple, sometimes cheap, unexpected things that give you JOY? I think about it all the time... So many times I have found the most wonderful things come from the strangest coolest things. And I have bunches of them around my house. And when I see them I feel such JOY! So I am giving you my JOY list and maybe you can find some things that you can do that will bring you- Simple Gifts of JOY!

My first (1) and favorite, is glass bottles filled with colored water in the windows. My mom used to do this when we were little. But I really started doing it when we lived in the city. We had a neighbor who partook of liqueur and would leave his bottles on my lawn every morning. At first I was frustrated like all my other neighbors. But about the third time my optimism got the better of me as usual, and I noticed how pretty the bottles were. So, I filled them with colored water and put them in my windows. Soon people were commenting on how beautiful they were. Negative into positive, plus my neighbor who was an alcoholic was so embarrassed he eventually stopped doing it. Still wish he could have stopped drinking. But that is another story.

So here are a few more. 10 to be exact.


  1. Marbles in Jars or as I have them in my hurricane lamps. So pretty! A friend was mad at her children for leaving them around she was going to toss them. Now they are mine and sparkle and shine.
  2. Magnets. We take the little coins you press in the machines at the thruway or places like the Zoo, etc. add magnets to the back and voila. Instant talking point. The kids love them!
  3. I hang prisms from my lamps and in windows. There are always rainbows! Nothing like getting up on a Saturday morning and your granddaughter pulls you into the room and says "look Grandma! I am dancing in rainbows"!
  4. Cards turned into air freshners, yup! When somebody sends me a card I don't throw it away I punch holes in it and around the edges Sandwich an old dryer sheet sprayed with my favorite scent in the middle sew it up with some yarn and hang! It will last for months and is so nice when I see it. A scenty reminder of someone thinking of me. Hmmm...
  5. Okay, we have this little electronic Yatzee game we got for Christmas years ago. It moved into the bathroom and stayed. Yeah, I know, but it makes the guys happy. And I have noticed that two of my children now have one in their bathrooms at home. LOL!
  6. Balloons! Yes, I always keep a bag in my desk drawer. Sudden party? Need a party? Want to send the neighbor a smile? You are always prepared with a little something. Also there is nothing better for occupying a four year old safely for hour (with supervision) ! And you can draw on them with permanent markers! Yay!
  7.  The next time you are somewhere and they have one of those photo booths... Stop, and take a picture. Some of our most favorite "in the moment photos" have come from doing just that and we treasure those photos! I add them to albums, frame them make them into pins, magnets, etc...You can do so many wonderful things with them.
  8. Put stuffed animals on the couch instead of pillow. Oh, not all the time, but once in a while. Since I started making Amigurumi's and placing them on the back of my couch I can't help but notice how much people love seeing them there. They smile and they touch them, snuggle them on their laps while they sit there. And the kids think they have died and gone to toy heaven!
  9. Homemade coasters! We make them out of old mayonnaise lids, old CD's, felted old wool sweaters cut into squares  They are fun useful and recycled. What could be better!
  10. Some of you may have seen my Christmas tree, I started using McDonald's teeny beany babies as ornaments for my tree  about 7 years ago. My daughters had left them at our home when they got married. I was fair I gave them four years to get them out. The memory of the day they came in and saw me sewing ribbons through their heads...Well, I laughed so hard I think I peed my pants. It has been the most fun thing and my tree looks great! I never worry when the kids are around either. They take the ornaments off and put them back on and I don't have to worry. Plus they get the wonderful sensory pleasure of touching a beautiful thing. Cool huh?

So now I hope you have some JOY ideas! I hope you will share some of your own. Mostly I hope you can find ways to take the frustrating things in life and take them from negative to positive. Look at a situation or thing in a new way and make beauty, fun or usefulness out of it.

Check again, I think the jar is more than half full!
I've got the JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY down in my heart! Down in my heart to stay!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Poof!....*



My granddaughters have a nut for their grandma. Oh, I admit it. Mina will say to me" let's play grandma!" and I will say "sure!" a sneaky smile on my face. She will bring me something from her toy box. A Barbie perhaps. And I will say "oh! hang on a minute you forgot something honey". Reach into her toy box and pull out the gold magic wand she has in there. Turn around and *Ting* I say "poof your a frog!" as I tap it on her head.

"Grandma! no more poofing me!"

"What did you say?" I reply. "Poof me more?"

*Ting* "poof your a frog!"

Smiling she will reply "grandma no more poofing me!"

"Oh, Okay..." I say feigning great sadness.

Dragging my wand I say "Let's get you some juice."

As she comes around the kitchen door, *Ting* "poof your a frog!" as I tap her on the head.

"Grandma, I said no more poofing me!" and she tries to get the magic wand from me.

"You said no more poofing you in the living room, not the kitchen..." says I.

This can go on for a while. we giggle and romp and tickle, then I ask questions, "what would you want the magic wand to really do"? She thinks for a minute. "make people be nice". A girl at school had been mean to her and we talked about it. "What else?" I ask "fix mommy..." she replies. "Yeah, we both want that one... "and all sorts of other things. When we are done. she curls up on my lap and says, "can you POOF me more grandma"? "Sure" I reply. The wand already in my hand

Yeah I am a nut, but a smart nut. Our little game opens a door so she can tell me all her secret thoughts and concerns, and wishes. And we have a whole bunch of fun.

The last time Ellie was here she brought me some blocks and I said "oh my, you forgot something..." Grabbed my wand and *Poof!* she ran away giggling.

 Oh this is going to be fun!

Break out your magic wand! You never know what you might find in there or what magic it can perform... *POOF!*



Sunday, October 23, 2011

To grandmother's house we go....

John Sloane
http://www.johnsloaneart.com/gallery_pages/horsepower.html




Over the river and through the woods
To Grandmother's house we go
The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh
Through white and drifted snow


Over the river and through the woods
Oh how the wind does blow
It stings the toes and bites the nose
As over the ground we go


[Everybody now]
Over the river and through the woods
To Grandmother's house we go
The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh
Through white and drifted snow


Over the river and through the woods
Oh how the wind does blow
It stings the toes and bites the nose
As over the ground we go


[Instrumental]


Over the river and through the woods
And through the barnyard gate
We seem to go extremely slow
It is so hard to wait


Over the river and through the woods
Now Grandmother's cap I spy
Hooray for the fun
Is the pudding done?
Hooray for the pumpkin pie
Hooray for the fun
Is the pudding done?
Hooray for the pumpkin pie
Hooray!

Okay  I know I have been talking a lot about traveling, that's probably because I have been doing a lot of it lately.
I can't help remembering all the trips we took to go to our grandparent's houses. Putting on our best bib and tucker mom would say.
That meant our best shorts or dungerees ( yeah I said it! not jeans!) our hair brushed out and our faces cleaned, mom packing up cookies or salad and dad checking the car for our trip. From the city to the suburbs. Yup! I am dating myself. that was a long trip back in the day. Seemed to take forever!

We would sing and laugh, poor Bonnie always got carsick so she would be taking big heaping gulps of fresh air from the window and mom would say "quiet down back there, your dad is trying to drive".

Westside drive had a lot more trees and only a few houses and farms. Mom would tell us stories about her childhood and the neighbors.

I remember when we got there pulling in the dirt and stone driveway. The little house. I always remember thinking how did 11 people all live in that house together. And before my grandpa built the garage and subsequent addition, there was a little hill you ran up, and when you got to the top you could look down at the long back yard. Family sitting out there around grandma and grandpa Schwalm. Singing and food, family and love. lots and lots of cousins... I remember some late night card parties where us kids slept on the living room floor listening to the laughter and jokes and one upmanships of all the grownups until it was time to go  and my dad and mom carrying us to the car for the long ride home. Watching the stars all the way home through the window. It was almost magical....

Going to my grandma and grandpa Benoit's started the same way, they had fruit trees all around their yard. grape vines and hiding places under the stairs. We always were so excited to see the wagon wheels that decorated the end of their driveway. And inside the kitchen both my grandparents greeting you with hugs and kisses. The table practically groaned with food on the holidays. And there were so many people in that little dining room, but I couldn't wait to move from the children's table to that tiny dining room.

I was so proud when it happened! When I was old enough to help the women with cleaning up. I felt so grown up...

I miss those days and people so much. so much! Our world has made it more difficult to do these things. have these get together s. We are spread out and far away.  I am trying very hard to keep these traditions for my granddaughters and my children. And as the holidays come close I can almost feel those I love beside me, smell the cooking, hear the singing and laughter, feel the hugs. And yup, I still look out the window on the way home and up at that magical starry sky, and hear myself saying "star light, star bright, wish I may, wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight..." I wish you all such joyous memories to share and family near to share them with.