Ah! Love.....!

Forever love

When I told my grandma Benoit I was going to marry Andy, she looked at me and asked me, "Do you like him?" Surprised and somewhat taken aback I said, "of course I do!"
"No!" She said, "Is he your best friend?' When I looked at her funny, she explained.

"Laurie, I love your grandfather with all my heart! And we have been together for a long time. But there have been years where I could not stand my husband, but could not have lived without my best friend."

I thought I understood what she was trying to tell me, but only with age and experience do I truly understand.

Love, it sounds so easy... It feels easy when it starts....
But one day reality hits you right square in the eye.

I know people who think they can separate their husband and wife into special categories. That the rules are not the same as say loving your sister or brother, mom or dad. Or your child.
That, "I love you "just because" thing."

They think, that their spouse or significant other must constantly earn their love. Or they do not have to love them any more. Sad to say many a marriage begins this way and quickly ends. Because it was not REAL Love.

Real love sees the person for who they really are and accepts them for it, loves them for it, can't stop loving them for it. You don't stop loving your child when they don't give you something for Valentines day, disobeys you, makes messes they won't pick up. You are hurt, for sure. But you still love them. Deeply! You do not give up! You try everything you can think of to reach them and let them know they are abusing you by your love. And usually that will bring about some change. But not perfect change... and you must and will still love them!

Please believe me when I say I am not talking about physical abuse in any way! If that is happening, GET OUT! GET HELP!

I am talking about the everyday crud. dirty boots on your new carpet, forgetting to pay an important bill, or pick up your wife at work, twice! For 6 hours! Saying the wrong thing, at the wrong place, in front of just the wrongest people....

There have been days that I have been so mad at the man I love! That I had to go talk to my best friend about it.

Luckily...

He listens, and hugs me, and tries to do better, because he loves me. And most important, he is my best friend... REAL LOVE...

I am very lucky...Thank you grandma.


~Love sees through a telescope - not a microscope.~

The Key...

Have you ever spring cleaned your home and found as the day went on you were just piling things up room by room, so frustrating! 


And you feel like you are getting no where until finally you got that "one" room done and all the others just started falling into place...


Then it is like things go at the speed of light from that point on. But until you got that "key" room done you were just on an uphill battle, getting nowhere. 


I find life is like that for me. I build up clutter. Job, relationship, spiritual, you name it... stuff!


Until finally I need to clean house.


I push things around until all the space is filled up, then I start trying to organize it into reasonable piles of stuff and put it away. I make myself crazy and frustrated. And it is just as I am stubbing my toe and dropping the pile of papers I have just finally sorted out, I cry out my pain and frustration! My husband will come and say "Do you need help?"


I bet you can guess my response...Maybe your response is similar?


"No!" "I'm fine!" 


But really, I am not.


Nope...


While I sit there holding my toe, tears squeezing out my eyes. I finally realize. I need help. I hate asking for help!


"Wait!"  "Come back please!"


I realize as he helps me pick up the papers and bandage my toe, that even if he isn't doing anything especially organizational, just having him there helps... I am less tired, I feel new ideas flowing through my mind. 
Why did I fight so hard against help? 


Allowing myself to rely on someone beside myself was the key! 


To step outside my area of control, and let go. To let someone else sit in the drivers seat, even if for a little while, restores me.


So should I be surprised when I take the time to stop and pray and turn all those piles of junk over to God that it helps? 


Really helps!


And yet every time, I struggle through trying to do it on my own. Until finally I am overwhelmed! Taxed beyond belief! Totally overwhelmed I will finally cry out for help....


Why do we wait to open that door? 


When we always had the "KEY." 


As spring gets closer I am making plans to clean my house. Both emotionally and spiritually. No more procrastinating! 


No more dilly dallying! 


"Jingle jingle..."


Ah! There's that "KEY!"


"Ahem, I could use a little help please..."