Ah! Love.....!

Forever love

When I told my grandma Benoit I was going to marry Andy, she looked at me and asked me, "Do you like him?" Surprised and somewhat taken aback I said, "of course I do!"
"No!" She said, "Is he your best friend?' When I looked at her funny, she explained.

"Laurie, I love your grandfather with all my heart! And we have been together for a long time. But there have been years where I could not stand my husband, but could not have lived without my best friend."

I thought I understood what she was trying to tell me, but only with age and experience do I truly understand.

Love, it sounds so easy... It feels easy when it starts....
But one day reality hits you right square in the eye.

I know people who think they can separate their husband and wife into special categories. That the rules are not the same as say loving your sister or brother, mom or dad. Or your child.
That, "I love you "just because" thing."

They think, that their spouse or significant other must constantly earn their love. Or they do not have to love them any more. Sad to say many a marriage begins this way and quickly ends. Because it was not REAL Love.

Real love sees the person for who they really are and accepts them for it, loves them for it, can't stop loving them for it. You don't stop loving your child when they don't give you something for Valentines day, disobeys you, makes messes they won't pick up. You are hurt, for sure. But you still love them. Deeply! You do not give up! You try everything you can think of to reach them and let them know they are abusing you by your love. And usually that will bring about some change. But not perfect change... and you must and will still love them!

Please believe me when I say I am not talking about physical abuse in any way! If that is happening, GET OUT! GET HELP!

I am talking about the everyday crud. dirty boots on your new carpet, forgetting to pay an important bill, or pick up your wife at work, twice! For 6 hours! Saying the wrong thing, at the wrong place, in front of just the wrongest people....

There have been days that I have been so mad at the man I love! That I had to go talk to my best friend about it.

Luckily...

He listens, and hugs me, and tries to do better, because he loves me. And most important, he is my best friend... REAL LOVE...

I am very lucky...Thank you grandma.


~Love sees through a telescope - not a microscope.~