CHANGE, a little of this, a little of that...

I am trying to change...
It is not easy. I am comfortable with who I am.
Honestly, I think most of us are happier to let life happen to us, Rather than us making the effort to have an impact on life.

You see I am trying to lose weight. I am on my first diet. No kidding, it's true.

When I have lost or gained weight in the past it just happened. I did nothing to help one way or the other. If I am successful I don't want people to admire what I am doing or to compliment me. I am doing it for me. And for my grandchildren. Plus I have seen others lose weight get compliments and then they gain it back, that has to feel awful.
Not that I plan on gaining weight back. But I know it happens

Right now I see others around me doing it and maintaining it. And I am encouraged to do my best. To believe. But I know the change must come from me. So I can be healthy and live the long life I want to live.

But I recognize this will not be easy for me.
I hold things in. Panic when food supplies are low. Soothe my anger and hurt with food. I need to change. so I can change.
Does that make sense to you?

Strangely it does to me.

So up front I want to say, I am not doing this to be prettier, or admired.
I will appreciate encouragement.
No judgement please...
I have had enough of that to  last a lifetime.

You would be astounded what people feel comfortable saying to overweight people.
Once I was picking up a birthday cake at Wegmans for my son's birthday party and a man came up to me and said "you wouldn't be so fat if you didn't stuff that @*#@ in your fat face.!" It was not the first horrible insult, nor the last.
So, you will understand when I say, I am a little sensitive.

Be patient with me, while I work on changing a little of this, and a little of that.
I am proud of me! 
I think just making the decision to change and starting on that journey was a big step.
I am CHANGING.